Parenting: My approach

 I asked a psycologist friend of mine, if there are any books on parenting which provide effective tips on positive parenting. She said, "If there was any such formula, wouldn't we be all in Utopia?" "Wonderful point of view", I said. She continued, "Each family is different, individual approaches are different and, there is nothing right or wrong in this topic. Loads of love, not just sealed in heart, it should be expressed liberally throughout their lives. It works with everybody you know. Isn't it? My personal tip for you is to list down the things that you would want out of your child when he grows up. Ensure that the list does NOT contain his professional aspirations which are very personal to him. And start leading that life yourself, he will learn all of it by following your example."

 "Start leading that life yourself" I realize is so important. Its so easy, because all of it comes naturally out of love, yet involves so much of thoughts and you end up in reacting the right way most of the times, in the times of stress or crisis. In case you don't, which too is inevitable, "there is always a next time" thought which helps you deal with the guilt in a better way.

 My list is not only expanding in intricacies of my own approach towards life, but also making me stop, think and enjoy each moment of it. Each stage is awesome and we tap on the most receptive moment of Ganesh and whatever he has learnt till now has been completely fun-filled and ofcourse, self-learning (sometimes the hard way, eg. you will slip and fall if you run on watery floor. Its so amusing to see him walking on the dry patches on wet floor of the veranda after rains). 

I very strongly believe that life teaches and we as parents or teachers are just facilitators. As Kahlil Gibran says,

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children

as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

I wish Ganesh gets what I wish to have for myself too. Here goes the list:

• 1.    There is no hurry, things come and go at their own pace, just live the moment. Equally, its important to start doing things early and not in the nth moment to avoid being late. Despite of that if you are, it is OK, certain things are not in our hands.
• 2.    Aspirations and ambitions are for YOURSELF and not to prove or show off to the world. Challenge and compete with yourself, following others' examples is also extremely important. Having said that, life is not just about yourself or your family. You must have your social responsibilities clear. Be compassionate and empathatic. Only that gives immense satisfaction and hope for your life ahead.
• 3.    Sports, puzzles, quizzes are extremely creative. They are a MUST.
• 4.    Reading. The more words and strings of words you come across, you not only get ideas to express yourself much better but also get to see different perspectives which leads to have a better outlook towards life. And that my son, will pave path for you to be a better human being.
• 5.    I want you to be a traveller and not a tourist. Feel and live in that place however short the trip is; unlike a tourist, enjoy local food, feel the difference of aroma in air and taste of water, be a part of the place and that includes paying tax for the country wherever you live. Remember, the way of lives may be different, and languages may be different, at the end of it, everybody goes through the same set of emotions. Appreciate all of it.
• 6.    Express your gratitude to the Supreme for what you have. Build a relationship with Him, formal or informal.
• 7.    Enjoy what nature has it for you. The resources are for your use and not misuse. Always take time to feel and enjoy the breeze, rains and fragrance of the flowers. And remember, heat and cold bring in their own kind of beauty to surroundings. Do your part to conserve the precious ecosystem.