Friday, December 18, 2009


Dear baby - You brought back the lost something undescribable in me. The charm of life, looking forward for a new day; every single day, the lost all-time cheerfulness be it non-sense PJs, jumping or running like a mad on middle of a road with full public view to see you laugh without giving a damn to others, in a way my own childhood. I am actually attempting to make world a better place, doing small things to see a smile in faces, shunning things at my level to pollute less. I found a meaning for the life I have. All because of you little being.

I am sorry to bring you in this big cruel world, where things are measured and judged by how you look and what all you own and not with the acts of humility you do. Where crime, injustice and desctruction prevails which are saddening. I brought you for the utter selfish longing and craving to feel the warmth and have you in my arms. All the pains whatsoever in that process is nothing for the person you are. One who forgets and forgives and lives in the present. What a thing to learn from a one year old. The innocence, care, curiosity, faith, consistency in practice, focus, strength, your expression of happiness, love. You make me think of you every single moment. I never felt so loved and never thought of being capable of loving so much.

You are yourself so small picking up words and point to other kids even older than you saying "papa" (baby in tamil). Your love of reading. Pointing to a cow and saying "mmmmm" in that tone. Saying "ka ka" in your tone modulated like a crow is so very cute. Your body is still not capable of climbing down stairs and you trying to get down like an adult is scarily funny. You stopping everything and touching your cute-little-bum with that smile when asked about your tail. You talking something with the ants. You pointing up and saying "ange" (there) for any helicopter, aeroplane, jet noise irrespective of wherever you are. The best is, the way you say "amma". You just being aware of your surrounding makes my heart swell to the level of bursting out with pride. You asking for whatever you need to help others understand what you need is a milestone that you achieved way too early :). You asking for independence is a bittersweet feeling for me. That I am happy and proud for the fact that you are fast but sad that you are moving away from me every single moment in search of your own abode. I wish I could let go of your babydom as fast as you are growing up. I wish I could hold back time and see you like this always. But I know the best I can do is to capture the moments and seal everything in my heart. My child, I wish you don't need to pretend and just be yourself all your life. All I can do is to love you, always.

My existence is blessed because of your presence. Thanks my dear for just being you.


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

New Year Resolutions

Oct 10
Me (Sad): I turn 30 today. I promised myself long back that I would be an extremely weight-conscious and healthy person after today.
S (My friend): Hmm.. Thats a very good thought.
Me: I think I will celebrate my birthday month and enjoy every food as much as possible.

Oct 31
Me (Sad): This month is also getting over.
S: Why not celebrating birthday year? Have a new year resolution and STICK to that.
Me: :D

Yes. I am facing withdrawal symptoms and am unable to control my temptations for good food. So listing out the BEST of what I like in Bangalore.

Shiv Sagar (Commercial Street)
Palak Dosa
Veg Makhanvala

EmGees (M G Road)
Babycorn Manchurian
Veg Patiala

Bombay Post (Old airport road)
Palak Chat
Kadai Paneer Patiala
Dal Makhani

Konark (Commercial Street)
Veg clear soup
Corn Palak
Masala Dosa

Breads (buffet lunch)

Cake Walk (Indiranagar)
Chocolate truffle (Eggless)

Calcutta Victoria Chat (Kasturinagar)
Tikki Chat

Now that the year too is ending I hope I do everything to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Things I have started doing in that direction:
Learning the steps to SuryaNamaskar.
Finish dinner by 7:30pm and nothing after that, except for a fruit incase I am hungry.
No alcohol.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

It happens only in Bangalore

  •  Experiencing Left hand drive - Suddenly the pedestrians have to look to their left first and right later on while crossing the road. Why? The traffic is diverted to move as per the opposite of basic rule and this gives a US style drive feel. Expats from US won't miss that country drive any more being here. All they have to do is keep coming to Garuda Mall.

  • Traffic signal on top of a flyover - Aren't flyovers made to avoid the cumbersome long duration signals? Earlier there used to be a cop to direct the traffic, now they have come up with the innovative idea of traffic signal there and to add to it, there are speed breakers also on it :). Anyhting to beat that?
And like the Lombard Street in San Francisco which was made that way out of sheer necessity, turned out to be a tourist attraction due to the weird idea behind it. These two points in Bangalore are a must-visit to see the basic design flaws.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A serious conversation

Vicky, a six year old boy and one of Ganesh's friends is trying to consistently teach him to do a thumb's down action for the word "girls". When I saw that, I was surprised and asked him.
Me: What's that?
Vicky: Girls are like that only.
Me: AAAuuuye (Tamil villan style) and what am I?
Vicky (with a serious expression): You are not a girl (after a pause) You are a woman!

Friday, September 18, 2009

House shifting and related realisations

Last month, we decided to move to our apartment that we bought around five years back. My husband and in-laws have been living in this particular rented-house for the past thirty years. I must say that this area which is closer to commercial street is not only convenient but a lot safe too as I have never come across any situation of eve-teasing or a non-sense-street-guy comment (Thankful, if people don't find me worth that!).
When we saw the so-called modular kitchen which was great looking in this apartment, all our materialistic-show-off dreams came true. After five-years of usage by a couple of tenants, all the sliders are rusted. Water seeped from near the sink has rottened the wood which is emanating a funny smell and it is a house of cockroaches of all types, shapes, sizes and other insects. The top cabinets are also the least usable. So with the dreams shattered, Shiv and I decided to dump this existing one to a normal slab kitchen with better top-cabinets. The work is going on and hopefully we should be able to shift by this month-end. All this is keeping me on my toes all the time. With some research, running around and contacts, we have picked up the necessary things and have narrowed down on shops from where we will buy the rest of things at the best prices.

Meanwhile, I got a change of team and profile, which I wanted to be in :). Ganesh is walking full-time (like a drunkard though!) and doesn't want to crawl at all. He has realised a new found independence as both his hands are free and wants to "touch" everything at a higher level. Things are slowly moving upwards now! He likes to play in water and sand and resists by anger-crying if we take him off before he is done! He has graduated from a mono-syllable blabbering to multi-syllable one. He would really "talk" with a very serious expression and stresses on some word that he has to hold his breath. All-in-all he is more interactive and more fun. Total time-pass.

During all this chaos, I just realized that I have mellowed down to a level that I am not getting attracted to the hi-fi things that I used to and had dreamt of for my own house! Infact, I am preferring a single-color or very mild color combination in case of multi-colored walls and the cheapest decorative lamp-shades for the CFL lights, that too just because they are there. Otherwise, I would have avoided them. I remember when my father was constructing his house in Kerala a couple of years back, me and my sister had told so-many tings: "Appa, do this". "Appa, do that". When none of these were applied, we requested him, later begged and even emotionally-blackmailed him atleast not to have a show-case, as this is old fashioned. We suggested to leave that area empty and have a white paint as background and concealed LED lights on top which will highlight a BIG painting. That also was literally ignored and a show-case was setup and both of us were cribbing BIG-TIME as to how he can do that to us. When Ganesh was two-three month old baby, he would continously look at the colorful things set-up at the large show-case. My mother while talking to him would sarcastically comment on us pretending to be reading out Ganesh's mind, on how much he likes the show-case that his grandfather has made. She would also say that, this was made specially for this baby. Having said that, I am not responsible for any damages done by Ganesh, if he really wants to explore things in the glass shelves when we go there next!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Where do we belong?

Recently I lost my bag and to have a duplicate DL, I had to file a police complaint. Since I cannot speak Kannada but can very well understand, I heard things like “Most of the cases are of these north-Indians only” being said, instead of doing what they are really supposed to do. They are not only being paid for the job but they also shamelessly ask for chai-paani amount in the police-station. For what!? Just a sign on a complaint letter. Not even filing an FIR.. huh!
As depicted in Chak de! India, there is surely more preference to the state or community- citizenship one belongs, than to the country-citizenship as such. The main reason I believe is, our customs are way of living and we are so used to it that we are unable to accept the other’s rituals. Soft-Racism happens everywhere and the recipient cannot protest as it is considered to be a joke (even though it really gets too-much sometimes).
I am an Indian at heart and feel this Chinese writer too audacious to write suggestively to split India. Even though to some levels, what is said might change the face of the countries which are now states! To this note I remember an instance that I have personally found racist and lived through. It was in Chandigarh during my childhood where our family was the only one South-Indian in the entire lane and everybody in other lanes also knew us due to our Madrasi status. When I grew up a bit more (around ten years old), I got to know that irrespective of somebody from Andhra, Karnataka, Tamil Nadu or Kerala; all of them are Madrasis for north-Indians in general (Kashmir to Maharashtra) and were literally teased. My parents believed in "live like Swiss in Switzerland" policy and did not impose our ritualistic rules on me in the day-to-day life, so I did not have much of teasing problems unlike others as I have seen. During our yearly trips to Kerala, we used to go to "our des" as per them. In another case, a (bank job transfer) "Madrasi" girl's father came to meet the principal requesting that she should be allowed to wear bindi, chain and bangles in school (where none of these were allowed) as it is part of "our" daily rituals. She wasn't allowed to do so due to obvious reasons but this invited lot of unwanted comments from the peers.
Well, all that said, I realized one thing extremely late in my life… :). DD(Delhi Doordarshan) showcased regional movies alphabetically every Sunday afternoon back then and I got to see a Tamil movie. This was when I could understand something in TV by listening and not by perceiving. I was shocked that I could not follow a single dialogue only to understand that the (Palakkad) Tamil we speak is not the actual Tamil. Our community is considered outsider in Kerala due to Tamil origins and now in Tamil Nadu due to Kerala settlement! During marriage alliances they particularly see for Palakkad Iyers. Similar is the case with same-communities in north-India.
I just wonder what would happen to people when they are given a choice of citizenship of a state turned country, in case India is split into 20-30 countries. I am sure there are so many people across generations who would have lived in a strikingly different place than what they would be culturally born with. Personally speaking, I want to settle down in a calm place where I can raise a couple of cows and dogs and work full-time towards environment conservation… but, if I have to make a choice of which country’s passport I should hold.. I will just go mad… :)

Monday, August 31, 2009


A car just overtook me just missing me by few inches. I saw the driver who was a good looking young chap wearing shades. He HAD to stop as the signal turned red and there was cop standing at the other end. As I reached closer to the car, it read:
YES! My dad owns the road...

Lost innocence?

Its scary how professionalism is affecting the world. To the level that its attacking the childhood and its innocence :( . Just came across this

Friday, August 21, 2009

A-Z Tag for the first blog

Its been VERY long that I am here in the Internet world, but if my sister wasn't there, I wouldn't have worked up my lazy mind to start off blogging. :) So starting off whith tagging myself with this A-Z things about myself as a detailed introduction of mine. Here it goes...

A - Art, Architecture. I appreciate art and creativity quite a lot and dream of owning or doing myself at least one original piece of painting or a photograph.

B - Books. I have been surrounded by them all my life and I dread the syllabus books to the core. As long as they are novels or cookery books, I am game and would finish them in fastest possible time-frame.
I would say my father has done double 10th, 12th and graduation along with me apart from his own. Given a choice he would have done a double PG, but luckily I was in hostel and was saved of him trying to inspire me by reading them.

C - Chandigarh. I am obsessed about this place so much so that my friends in US named me "Miss Chandigarh" after listening to my comparison of a Garden with Rose Garden (Chandigarh), roads, sceneries and what not. That implies to my family also, when my parents, myself and my sister were comparing each and every corner of Singapore with each sector of Chandigarh.

D - Desi. This is the best word to describe me. Sophistication and womanish elegance literally run away from me. Though I have tried to lower my volume, walk and talk slowly in a sweetest manner but that just doesn’t work for me. My friends (who are guys) have told me that they don’t feel that they are with a girl when we hang-out. I admit that this is the worst ever compliment I have received because this challenges my basic gender existence which I am really proud of.

E - Environment. I feel sad when I see people knowingly and unknowingly so irresponsible towards such a perfectly balanced system. I am doing everything possible at individual level for its conservation. Me and my colleague (Shweta) would do our best at office to involve everybody in this endeavor even though they feel pain in their backs.

F - Family, Food, Friends. What's life without them?

G - Ghosts (Poochandi: term usually used when kids wouldn't do whatever was required out of them!). I could not even sleep alone in the night without a light on and the related imagination had hit its creative best when I was twenty-six years old. I fought with this fear consciously when I was pregnant and am out of it completely.

H - Husband. I have been a very independent person throughout my life and never felt a need of companionship. I got married for reasons unknown to me (read parental pressure!). Now, I cannot imagine my life without my life-partner. I am lucky to have got such a loving, patient, understanding and supportive person.

I - Ice-creams. Slurp-slurp. Yum-yum.

J - Jealousy. My sister and I try to make each other jealous by exaggerated projection of every single instance of achievement or attainment. Both of us laugh out loud on each other's silly attempts each time.

K - Knowledge. Improves a person's outlook and I yearn for it.

L - Love. I am lucky to have received all possible variations of this emotion and thank the Supreme always for it. I seek blessings so that I receive this endlessly till the end of my life.

M - Money. It is needed to buy the most basic comfort of entertainment and that’s the only reason I work full-time.

N - Nature. I am an avid nature lover. I enjoy going for a walk in the morning to see the sunrise, hear the birds chirping, flowers blooming with dew-drops on them and feel the cool fresh air. This makes my day and my life.
When I feel lazy, my early-riser-bored-playing-for-one-hour-in-room baby ensures that I get up and take him out!

O - Obsession for cleanliness. Need I say more?

P - Parenting, which is my Passion. This has brought the best out of me. I have never been so responsible in my life. It was a difficult pregnancy and every moment of pain is worth Ganesh baby. Each day is a surprise and I do everything funny to see a smile in his such a small and cute face. He has brought confidence in me that I can take care of him, the way he wants. Each milestone of his is like an achievement in itself for me. How I wish I could slow down the time to see his growth in slow motion. My baby is moving towards toddlerhood so fast.

Q - Quarter. This word irritates my husband (Shiv) when I use it like below.
Shiv (in the morning, with the cloth eye-shade on): Meenu, what’s the time?
Me: "quarter to nine" or "quarter past eight"
Shiv: Angrez. Can't you say it properly?
Me: Why don't you see the time on your own then?
Shiv: Pleeaaassse.
Me: Ok. 8:45 or 8:15.

R - Ramya, Lakshmi, Lakku, Lakshma, Puttu, tuttu or whatever comes in mind. My cute little sister and my non-biological daughter. She is my confidante, my strength and the loveliest thing happened in my life.

S - Stratosphere. I have tried world's craziest rides on earth. I literally died and returned. A group of people were so entertained seeing me trembling and screaming with fear that they not only forgot their own fear but also laughed through the rides. They even offered sponsoring the tickets for another set of rides to me!

T - Tadka, punjabi vaala. I love north-indian fare, preparing as well as eating. It brings in a sense of satisfaction and life is worth living for it :).

U - Unsure. I am, most of the times.

V - Vegetarianism. I have been brought up as one. I have extended the list by deciding not to buy leather, honey and silk any more. I hope I will be able to add milk products also in this list.

W - Windows OS. My work. It’s a love-hate relationship, but I cannot imagine my work-life without it. I love its ease of concepts, configuration and administration. I hate the ease as it is easy to forget also.

X - Xylophone. I can play the tunes of "Happy Birthday to you" song and "Mary had a little lamb" on my son's xylophone.

Y - Yuck. Too much Plastic, Pollution, Garbage, Crime and Hatred around. We need a massive education on Reduce, Reuse, Recycle and mental cleanup.

Z - Zzz - I love sleeping and the basic thing I need. When I am bored while watching a movie in a theatre, I sleep. I sleep and induce dreams, when I am frustrated or in some types of anger. I sleep when I have nothing to do and enjoy each moment of it.

I would like to Tag Usha, Arunima, Eman and Maggie whom I have been following for long time :). They would know me as ~Meenakshy