A Request

My father has been working on getting a permanent CBSE affiliation of Sri Sankara School in Kalady, Ernakulam Distt., Kerala for almost four years. The school was setup to provide quality education at minimal fees from the underprivileged students. The permanent affiliation is renewed once in three years, based on the audits conducted by CBSE on its specified standards.

During the initial settling years, he worked on standardising on qualification and quality and further on the salaries of the teachers. Gradually he moved onto standardising the infrastructure in terms of CBSE specifications (Classrooms, Auditorium, furniture, Labs, Staff etc.). After multiple audits, the affilliation was granted. As the school is run by the Mutt, there are very tight budgetary constraints. The school requires funds for books in the library, sports equipments and playground equipments for the primary school.

Request you all to donate generously for this cause. My father will get an Sec 80G exemption certificate as well. When the money is transferred, kindly mark the details to my father at ksvenkat46@yahoo.co.in. The account details are:

Sri Sankara Educational Trust
Union Bank of India, Kalady Branch
SB A/C No. 338602010018242
IFSC Code: UBIN0533866

Concertino

Ganesh's interest in percussions is still going strong. So while he is at it, Shiv thinks that he should be going to some class where he will be allowed to just sit and watch, may be for half an hour for a couple of times in a month. While enquiring for him at Purandara Bhavan, I got to know about other instruments and vocal classes. Because of their stringent age criteria of seven, I considered joining Hindustani classical for myself. When I communicated this to Shiv, he said, "I wish you join the Mridangam classes and teach him."
Me: I thought I will sing and he will play mridangam. ;)
Shiv: What? May be I should join the mridangam class and start teaching him.
Me: PLEASE. I don't think its a nice idea. People coming up with age criteria for starting, there must be some sense in it.
Shiv: Hmm
Me: Why don't you join voilin class and we can all perform together. JUST IMAGINE (with the dream-come-true-sparkle-in-the-eyes tone)
Shiv (Embarrased with the thought itself): Leave me alone for sometime.

Art of conversations

As Ganesh is growing up, it is a pleasure talking to the little person that he is. The clarity in his priorities and interests makes very interesting conversations with him.

He has a lot of interest in percussion instruments and enjoys watching different videos of concerts on the internet.  Even in live performances, he focuses more on percussionists. I asked him what he likes most. Mridangam, Chendai, Drums, Tabla or Ghatam.
Ganesh: "Thavil dhaan aettom pidikkum" (I like Thavil the most)
Me: :)

5:30 am. Milk time. He generally gets milk at room temparature and continues to sleep after that. One day, he had mild cough and had bouts of cough in the middle of the night too. That morning, I informed him that he will get warm milk. Fellow doesnt like the idea and tries to negotiate. In the process, he loses his sleep and further negotiates not wanting to have the warm milk. After being left with no choice,  he had to have it and immediately after that, he has a bout of cough.
Ganesh: "Paaru amma. Chood-a tinnuttum koraikkardu" (See amma. Even after eating it warm, I am coughing and repeats this statement for a couple of more times)
I had no other choice than to hold him tightly and kiss him on his forehead.

During one of the morning walks, he observes a person going on motorcycle and asks, "Shivakumar-te bike illaya?" (Why doesn't Shivakumar have a bike?). I replied," He had one, but somebody stole it."
He gets angry and throws expletives,"We should hit and fix him. We should hand him over to the police. We should leave him with the ducks."
(We take time to see what the ducks do at Manipal Hospital garden area during every visit there. So whenever he throws tantrums, I say, "I will leave you with the ducks and you eat what they eat.")
As much as I laughed at it, I thought to myself, if I am using right words with him when it is difficult to deal with him :(.

Happy New Year

On the onset of 2010, a dear friend of mine wished me with HNY. A tubelight that I am, just didn't get it. I had to google it and found another full form and as usual thought "Isko kya ho gaya!!!".

And after I realised that it was the new year wish, thought, "Aisa mere saath hi kyu hota hai?"

Nonetheless folks! Have a good time. Masst raho khush raho.

Size does matter

All of three, Ganesh feels and behaves like the biggest of all. There is a lot of questioning that has started these days, right from what happens if we keep a blanket on burning stove to if a smallest of mouse can bite. I too don't miss a chance to ask questions which will be answered in my favour.
Me: Is Ganesh big or small?
Ganesh: BIG
Me: Is Ganesh's tummy big or small?
Ganesh: BIG
Me: Is appa big or small?
Ganesh: small
Me: Is amma big or small?
Ganesh: small
Same question repeated for all family members and getting same answer....
Me: Is amma's tummy big or small?
Ganesh: small
Me (looking at Shiv): Evil grins :D :D :D

Maar hi daaloge

I do whatever it takes to reach home by 6:15 pm. Rain or not. The moment I open the door, Ganesh comes running, jumps on me and hugs. One rainy evening by the time I reached home, I was completely drenched and had to forego my usual treat. So I informed him that I am completely drenched and cannot carry or hug him until I change. He touches me, runs inside and gets a towel.
"Inda amma, todachuko. Sheriaayudum." (Take this amma, wipe yourself. You will be ok)

Shiv, generally feels that the mother-son love as TOO MUCH. I just could not wait to narrate this story to see his reaction (that "maar hi daaloge" expression), topped with the dialogue, "Learn something from your son." ;)

Ganesh's favorite colour is Orange. Breakfast time. He is given dosa with greens, which he was not enjoying too much which was evident from the speed of consumption. I started eating with Orange color leftover chutney and wooed him to eat with that. The entire content was transferred to his plate. He runs to the kitchen and opens the fridge. Shiv asks, "Ganesh, fridge ae ennattukku thorandel ?"(why have you opened the fridge)
Ganesh, "Amma ku Orange chutney podanam" (serve the orange colour chutney to amma too)

I looked at husband immediately, not to miss his expression. :D

These gestures from the child will be cherished forever. I don't think I even deserve them. But I do deserve to see Shiv's funny expressions.

Is it too early?

It is never, when it comes to educate the child about his own protection from the predators. A few personal experiences:
1. A friend's uncle, who was supposedly funny and all the elders liked him for his sense of humor. During adolescence, he comes and touches the chest, saying that "oh, the girl is growing up." I hated it. I did not know what to do. Just ran home and shut myself. I tried to inform my mother, she did not understand and it never got conveyed.
2. A pooja being arranged at home. Father asked me to join him to the temple to get the required things. The priest staring me and stroked the bum. And this was in a split second time when father was walking ahead of me and the priest behind me. I did not know what to do. I started walking along father.
3. Countless incidents of people touching on the streets.

It took a while to understand that I wasn't wrong in any of the above incidents and I have to speak up. Well, I was a teenager when I understood and it was learning the hard way. I had my own share of guilt, fear, fury and everything but I am glad that I dealt with all of it pretty well and am sane today.

It is a myth that boys are not eyed on. I know of a friend who too shared his tryst with one who was an older lady. I got to see a program on re-enacted crimes relayed every single day in a channel in Singapore which was produced by the police department. Coincidentally the first episode I got to see was about a paedophile targetting boys, starting friendship just by talking, then getting smaller gifts then gradually bigger and expensive toys. He then took the child to the zoo as a leisure trip. The mother too is wonderstruck in this case seeing the gifts and the friendship. Then the very next day, after the swimming classes, this man takes the child to the bathroom, removes the clothes and has a photo shoot. The child is also confused here. The mother digs in for information and files a police complaint. I wasn't even a mother then. I could relate to every single emotion of sadness, shame, disgust, anger and frustration. I promised myself that if I ever have child(ren), they will be aware of what needs to be done. From saying a firm no to shout or run for help and inform us.

Husband and I too believe very strongly believe that we cannot even predict who can turn out to be predator. They would be one among us, relatives, friends, anybody. Its a very thin line, and we cannot take any chances for the child to learn the hard way. They just don't deserve it.

We generally go by this rule that until five years, the child must be accompanied by people who are responsible and with whom the child is comfortable with. Having said that, as a mother, all I wished for Ganesh was that he should not be too 'friendly'. I have very elated when he cried uncontrollably at a friend's home, at three months. Any amount of nursing, he continued to cry. The moment we got out, he was fine. His sensitivity to new people is still there and I am happy to say the least, that it keeps him safe. At two and half years, he is not comfortable bare body in front of people, he is not happy being only in shorts too. People carrying him or holding him is not his comfort zone.

Having said that, he will start school in June and will not be home for four hours per day. We have already started telling him that if he does not like anybody touching, holding or carrying him, he should say that he does not like it. He should not allow anybody to touch his penis or bum, except for all of us at home, that is parents, both set of grandparents and paternal or maternal sisters.
I also know of people who say that the child loses innocence when she/he is told about all of it. I have seen kids who stand up for themselves and say a firm "NO, don't kiss me. I don't like it". I find them equally innocent and cute. Need I say safe too?