Art of conversations

As Ganesh is growing up, it is a pleasure talking to the little person that he is. The clarity in his priorities and interests makes very interesting conversations with him.

He has a lot of interest in percussion instruments and enjoys watching different videos of concerts on the internet.  Even in live performances, he focuses more on percussionists. I asked him what he likes most. Mridangam, Chendai, Drums, Tabla or Ghatam.
Ganesh: "Thavil dhaan aettom pidikkum" (I like Thavil the most)
Me: :)

5:30 am. Milk time. He generally gets milk at room temparature and continues to sleep after that. One day, he had mild cough and had bouts of cough in the middle of the night too. That morning, I informed him that he will get warm milk. Fellow doesnt like the idea and tries to negotiate. In the process, he loses his sleep and further negotiates not wanting to have the warm milk. After being left with no choice,  he had to have it and immediately after that, he has a bout of cough.
Ganesh: "Paaru amma. Chood-a tinnuttum koraikkardu" (See amma. Even after eating it warm, I am coughing and repeats this statement for a couple of more times)
I had no other choice than to hold him tightly and kiss him on his forehead.

During one of the morning walks, he observes a person going on motorcycle and asks, "Shivakumar-te bike illaya?" (Why doesn't Shivakumar have a bike?). I replied," He had one, but somebody stole it."
He gets angry and throws expletives,"We should hit and fix him. We should hand him over to the police. We should leave him with the ducks."
(We take time to see what the ducks do at Manipal Hospital garden area during every visit there. So whenever he throws tantrums, I say, "I will leave you with the ducks and you eat what they eat.")
As much as I laughed at it, I thought to myself, if I am using right words with him when it is difficult to deal with him :(.

Size does matter

All of three, Ganesh feels and behaves like the biggest of all. There is a lot of questioning that has started these days, right from what happens if we keep a blanket on burning stove to if a smallest of mouse can bite. I too don't miss a chance to ask questions which will be answered in my favour.
Me: Is Ganesh big or small?
Ganesh: BIG
Me: Is Ganesh's tummy big or small?
Ganesh: BIG
Me: Is appa big or small?
Ganesh: small
Me: Is amma big or small?
Ganesh: small
Same question repeated for all family members and getting same answer....
Me: Is amma's tummy big or small?
Ganesh: small
Me (looking at Shiv): Evil grins :D :D :D

Maar hi daaloge

I do whatever it takes to reach home by 6:15 pm. Rain or not. The moment I open the door, Ganesh comes running, jumps on me and hugs. One rainy evening by the time I reached home, I was completely drenched and had to forego my usual treat. So I informed him that I am completely drenched and cannot carry or hug him until I change. He touches me, runs inside and gets a towel.
"Inda amma, todachuko. Sheriaayudum." (Take this amma, wipe yourself. You will be ok)

Shiv, generally feels that the mother-son love as TOO MUCH. I just could not wait to narrate this story to see his reaction (that "maar hi daaloge" expression), topped with the dialogue, "Learn something from your son." ;)

Ganesh's favorite colour is Orange. Breakfast time. He is given dosa with greens, which he was not enjoying too much which was evident from the speed of consumption. I started eating with Orange color leftover chutney and wooed him to eat with that. The entire content was transferred to his plate. He runs to the kitchen and opens the fridge. Shiv asks, "Ganesh, fridge ae ennattukku thorandel ?"(why have you opened the fridge)
Ganesh, "Amma ku Orange chutney podanam" (serve the orange colour chutney to amma too)

I looked at husband immediately, not to miss his expression. :D

These gestures from the child will be cherished forever. I don't think I even deserve them. But I do deserve to see Shiv's funny expressions.

Bed-time Stories

"He wouldn't even settle sleeping next to me. He has to sleep on me."

The sleep-training is being going on for a few months now at our place, but Ganesh still does not sleep through the night. I have partially weaned him off from his swing of saree. We had to swing him for thirty to forty minutes every time to make him sleep, right from the time he was born. This itself I consider as a big achievement, for the struggles, crying and negotiations we had to go through to get him to  bed.

He still has his milk in bottle at around 3 am and another one at around 6 am and sleeps till 7:15 am which too has reduced from three to two. I know I am not the only one hre going through this, just felt good reading this article.

Of sharing and being nice

If you ask Ganesh to share what he is eating, you will get, after much pleading persuation that is, something in your hand, which you will not be able to see. And if you put that in mouth, you will not get the taste of it either.
If a baby or child, looks at his plate, irrespective of he eating or not, otherwise a nice, calm and soft Ganesh turns into a hitting monster. In a park, if I touch another child, Ganesh screams, DDDDDAAAAEEEEEEE anna (or akka, whosoever his mother shows a temporary interest). He even went and hit a child yesterday. (Ofcourse he had to go through the amma-not-talking-to-you discplining strategy and he saying sorry to the child. Amma would have ignored it, if all this happened in her absence and the other hitting back Ganesh or they dealing all of it with each other)
We had been to Bannerghatta National Park last week. Shiv plucked some fresh tamarind from the trees and I just tried if the wild squirrels eat that. They came near, took that and started eating. It was such a cute sight, to say the least. Ganesh had not approved for it and hence had a lying-on-floor-crying tantrum. One lollypop as a bribe and he becomes fine. He kept on asking for the tamarind, for some time though.

One of our neighbors has a dalmatian called Spotty, with whom we are friends. Spotty doesn't generally allow people to enter his territory, but from the day we have seen and befriended him, he has not only allowed us to enter his zone, but also has been extremely gentle with Ganesh. Ganesh then being just one year old and not so steady, Spotty used to be very careful even while shaking off Ganesh from his body when Ganesh would hug him, bite him, pull  one of his feet or pull his tail. He would not sit anywhere anytime when Ganesh was around, to avoid Ganesh sitting on him. People around would ask me to be careful with the dog around the child, whereas I used to be worried about the dog. That was such a perfect picture. Until recently, when Ganesh had  just picked up a stick (as usual) from the garden there. Spotty, playfully snatched it from the other end and ran away. Ganesh, being him, did not like it and had a lying-on-floor-crying tantrum. I could not help laughing loudly, much to Ganesh's irritation. Spotty too, I am so sure was laughing who was standing next to me and kind of challenging Ganesh to take the stick back.

Of guilt trips!

I leave home brutally quiet each morning and listen Ganesh calling "Amma" followed with a wail and his grandparents telling him that she has gone to office. He says crying, "Amma office ponam". :(
We go out each morning, have our time together, basically hanging out checking the dirty streams of water that flows throughout Bangalore. His current obsession, he only knows why. We check one near the Golf view campus, followed with some hanging, swinging, sliding session in the park. We also go and 'touch' the BIIG water tank near the park. He doesnt want to come home after that, coz he knows that all we will do is take bath, have breakfast and I will head to office. I would tell him about office thingy and all I get is a more clinging child. Very recently, I even said a firm bye and got out as the experts suggest, but he followed me not just wailing and begging not to leave, but I left. FIL told he cried continuously for forty minutes. After that once again hide-and-seek.

I am so embarrassed that I forgot the husband's birthday. I really thought its on Tuesday but it happened to be on Monday. He gets a call at 12:30 am and there I was cursing that his friends have no time-sense whatsoever and went on saying all are same. Then morning showers of calls, my family, cousins everybody. I checkout the calendar and you-know-what-expression.

What I love about being with you

The way you express your love. Pinching both my cheeks, coming close and kissing.

"Amma mele taachi" Want to lay down on top of me, when unable to go back to sleep in the middle of the night. The feel of your eyelashes on my neck during that time.

Calling amma for every excitement of yours. Be it spotting the "Big Dish" (DTH Service dishes on rooftops) or a "paaida" (spider) or "Sooo many pijins" or "ejjauth fan" (Exhaust fan) for the zillionth time.

Calling amma for the minutest of distress. Falling down, being hit or anybody scolding or for that matter amma scolding you.

Calling me "Meenu". You know that I will not stop you from calling me by name. You will look at your father after calling me that with a smile, for his disapproval.

Not allowing anybody to even look at you, when I am present. Reporting every instance of somebody looking at you, talking to you or trying to carry you, be it your grandparents,  father or anybody. Ensuring that only I lift you when I am around.

You start walking when I tell that my arm is aching carrying you. I will carry you as much as I can, coz you will grow way too soon than I am ready for. You stop crying when I say I will also cry. Well, I know thats mean, but nothing really works sometimes.

Your dramas, tantrums, crocodile tears, running to sofa to lay down and cry. You throwing more fits on my suggestion of crying on the bed like heroines.

Your jumps and hops. You coming running to me in the evening on my return to home from work.

You demanding rather ordering what you want. Amma "dosa na na", "idli na na", "chappati na na", "upma na na", "pongal na na", "mammam na na", "adai na na", "Ing na na"... "maggi venam", "chocolate venam", "joos venam"

You using words tactically and innocently for your benefit. Making everybody laugh and laughing yourself.

I love you being a thoughtful and mature person. You know when to joke and limit it to fun only. Thats your character of maintaining respect and love with everybody. You remembering and revising everybody's name (huge extended family and lot of our friends and their children). Ensuring to call them like that when we meet. No wonder everybody is so fond of you.

Wink and babydom is gone

You are now 25 months old, feels like only last moment gone that you were given onto my hand, when you came out of me. How can I forget the tender voice of you crying, the wetness and the creamy layer on you then. (the tantrums and puppy shrieks of yours  remind me of that even more). A tiny human being who apparently thought that he is a part of the mother and now so clear about his own self.



Time flew by as I saw you achieving all your milestones either on time or way ahead of it, attempting for the next almost immediately of achieving one. Smiling at 40 days, turning over at 80 days, rolling then onwards, crawling on your back and not on tummy at 4 months :) (yes, only you can do such things), sitting down at 5 and half months, crawling on knees at 7 months, holding and standing at 9 months, walking without help at 10 months. And now full-fledged talking with correct grammar at 25 months. Oh! jumping and hopping. Even correcting us when we say something wrong.

    

The depiction of "Mary had a little lamb" rhyme in this particular video has a real girl and a sheep (which looks like a cow) with a drawn up backdrop of some landscape. 

You: Cow

Shiv: Na Ganesh, that's a lamb, baby sheep. It says Ba-Ae-Ae-Ae

You: Na Na. No Ba-Ae-Ae. It says Moooooooooooo.

Shiv: Na na. It is a lamb. Mary had a little lamb.

You: Appa na na. That's a cow. Moooooo Mooooo

Shiv: na na. Thats a lamb

You: COW

Shiv: :|

I love it when you hold yourself on me to the closest level possible and ask "amma baa", for me to set you in a way that the minute space left out is also gone, our rolling and tickling games. I am so proud of you being imaginative and happy to clean the mess you make by making Dosas on the floor with the banana shake or curds which is supposed to go to your tummy.

Me: Ganesh, what is your name?

You: Ganesh

Me (blown up with pride): How are you?

You: Ganesh

Me: How do you do? 

You: Ganesh

Me: :|

You preferring girls over boys (yes!) and not only giving them well-deserved special attention but also your snacks! I am always on cloud nine seeing your gentleman-ish approach towards them. What handshake(s), saying Hi with a wave and asking them to join you to play! 



You have been an entertainer throughout, which I knew from the moment you made the funny squeaking sounds while latching on to have milk on your day-one itself. Later on our storytelling, complaining and pulling each others legs, all in the pretext of talking to you. Oh! you have been a patient listener. Your fake smiles for posing for camera.



I must say, all the older girls in the family are really impressed with you already and are waiting for you to grow up to have more fun conversations with you. :)

Now that you will be a school boy in a few months' time, I just cannot comprehend the lightning speed reality.

 

What's ahead

Advances in self-care skills come fast and furious during the preschool years. Most kids have mastered the basics of self-care - dressing, washing their hands, feeding themselves, and going to the bathroom (but not necessarily wiping!) - by their fourth birthday. As the months and years roll by, your child will get better and better at meeting her own needs. You'll blink, a few years will go by, and she'll be able to tie her shoes and shower or bathe by herself. Then it's just a matter of time until she can do laundry and cook dinner, not to mention drive herself to soccer practice. By then you'll be wishing she'd let you baby her once in a while, but her refusal to give up her autonomy will be a testament to your success in teaching her to care for herself.

~ courtesy babycenter



PS: Ganesh's seat in one of the oldest schools have been confirmed and I am proud to announce that we are lucky to have our "self-written" application being considered for our "interview" for his admission.



Of Evil Eyes and such

People say that it exists, I do not believe in it. What I do believe is in the presence of divine, which is core of the very existence. To me, one form of that divine is love. And if somebody appreciates something, how can that be harmful? If that is the case, any child would be affected by mother's eyes all the time. And if somebody is jealous by nature, how can that jealousy be harmful to the subject? Its sad for the person as such for the feeling he or she unable to grow out of.

Ganesh's right hand was on the door pane, while he was switching on and off the kitchen light, when the door banged full-on on his middle and ring finger due to heavy wind, chopping off the top portions. My father-in-law was sitting right next to him. He was rushed to hospital and they did a surgery next day morning, taking skin from his bum and grafting it on the fingers. As nature has designed us to move-on, he did, immediately. He started playing the evening it happened and played the next day after he got up from the anaesthesia effect. It is unimaginable to even describe. Bruises, wounds, cuts, head bumps, all adorn the body of a child, but this is way too much for a 22 month old.

After a re-dressing (with anasthesia) this week, his dressing was removed completely today. My heart cries every moment. Everybody around seems to have come to terms with it, I am yet to. Not sure, if I ever will.

He was on a sling for a week, cooperating with us while putting it and tying up the string to it so that his arm is lifted up while he sleeps. He is kind of a child who would play in water all the time. He did not go near it even if he had the chance, because he was told not to.

Friends, bless him for his wellness, for I believe, good wishes and love last forever.

I have a boy

I am definitely not person who would stereotype gender. I make my 19 month old wear anklets, pink shirts, bangles, kajal, bindi and sometimes girly dresses. That my friends, is not going out of the way to prove that. That's because he is such a pretty boy and its irresistible to hold on to that temptation. But given the fact that I have a boy and almost (at least I feel) parented my sister too at this age, I feel there are some differences that make them what they are.

Yes, I am talking about women. Nature has it that boys will be boys from the earliest in their lives. I have proofs to support this statement.

Till today, he has been smitten by three women, in a span of one month. Not sure about the previous ones though because he never displayed such visible temperaments, may be because he was too small to express then. He is kind of child who will say "tata bubye" for "leave me alone" and even threatens to bite if the limits are crossed beyond his tolerance levels. Will not go to anybody and everybody who try to befriend him, even to a few people he has been seeing from the time he is born. He is comfortable in new places in our presence as long as he is not touched, carried or very strongly tried to be befriended.

There has been a sudden change in his pattern of behavior with the said women. From the moment he was introduced to them, he started addressing them immediately. If they give a little gesture of asking him to carry, he acknowledges immediately with a smile and allows to be taken. And display of his knowledge is carried out. Like today morning, a lady was out plucking flowers, he saw her and passed on a smile. She did not see him doing that, so he went near her and smiled once again. The lady acknowledged. He got encouraged and they had a customary introduction.

Ganesh: "Auntie, mango thee, chakkkai (pointing to mango tree and jackfruits). He started walking towards those trees and expected her to follow, but then she was in a hurry. She said bye, which he wasnt ready to say so soon. He continued to show pointing to a cat, "auntie.. poochai.. meow" and his current favorite flower, "auntie.. puple aappoo". "auntie.. bag"."auntie..paisha".She had to rush to office, so I had to carry him and start off, making him wave a bye.

A couple of weeks back, this very pretty college-going girl to whom he was smitten. After the introduction, he was like "oee akka (rohini akka)", and was surrounding her for the rest of two days (during a cousin's wedding), displaying his talents, showing her the trees and flowers with names he knows, making different animal and bird sounds, even refusing to come to me when the girl was visibly tired carrying him for around 20 minutes, putting her parents to wonder, as to why he is SO MUCH attracted to her. Hormones, I say.

All in all, I am happy that the ladies whom he has approached have taken time to genuinely acknowledge to his gestures. May this continue to happen all through his life. :D

Ganesh,

Dear baby - You brought back the lost something undescribable in me. The charm of life, looking forward for a new day; every single day, the lost all-time cheerfulness be it non-sense PJs, jumping or running like a mad on middle of a road with full public view to see you laugh without giving a damn to others, in a way my own childhood. I am actually attempting to make world a better place, doing small things to see a smile in faces, shunning things at my level to pollute less. I found a meaning for the life I have. All because of you little being.

I am sorry to bring you in this big cruel world, where things are measured and judged by how you look and what all you own and not with the acts of humility you do. Where crime, injustice and desctruction prevails which are saddening. I brought you for the utter selfish longing and craving to feel the warmth and have you in my arms. All the pains whatsoever in that process is nothing for the person you are. One who forgets and forgives and lives in the present. What a thing to learn from a one year old. The innocence, care, curiosity, faith, consistency in practice, focus, strength, your expression of happiness, love. You make me think of you every single moment. I never felt so loved and never thought of being capable of loving so much.

You are yourself so small picking up words and point to other kids even older than you saying "papa" (baby in tamil). Your love of reading. Pointing to a cow and saying "mmmmm" in that tone. Saying "ka ka" in your tone modulated like a crow is so very cute. Your body is still not capable of climbing down stairs and you trying to get down like an adult is scarily funny. You stopping everything and touching your cute-little-bum with that smile when asked about your tail. You talking something with the ants. You pointing up and saying "ange" (there) for any helicopter, aeroplane, jet noise irrespective of wherever you are. The best is, the way you say "amma". You just being aware of your surrounding makes my heart swell to the level of bursting out with pride. You asking for whatever you need to help others understand what you need is a milestone that you achieved way too early :). You asking for independence is a bittersweet feeling for me. That I am happy and proud for the fact that you are fast but sad that you are moving away from me every single moment in search of your own abode. I wish I could let go of your babydom as fast as you are growing up. I wish I could hold back time and see you like this always. But I know the best I can do is to capture the moments and seal everything in my heart. My child, I wish you don't need to pretend and just be yourself all your life. All I can do is to love you, always.

My existence is blessed because of your presence. Thanks my dear for just being you.

From,
Amma

A serious conversation

Vicky, a six year old boy and one of Ganesh's friends is trying to consistently teach him to do a thumb's down action for the word "girls". When I saw that, I was surprised and asked him.
Me: What's that?
Vicky: Girls are like that only.
Me: AAAuuuye (Tamil villan style) and what am I?
Vicky (with a serious expression): You are not a girl (after a pause) You are a woman!

House shifting and related realisations

Last month, we decided to move to our apartment that we bought around five years back. My husband and in-laws have been living in this particular rented-house for the past thirty years. I must say that this area which is closer to commercial street is not only convenient but a lot safe too as I have never come across any situation of eve-teasing or a non-sense-street-guy comment (Thankful, if people don't find me worth that!).
When we saw the so-called modular kitchen which was great looking in this apartment, all our materialistic-show-off dreams came true. After five-years of usage by a couple of tenants, all the sliders are rusted. Water seeped from near the sink has rottened the wood which is emanating a funny smell and it is a house of cockroaches of all types, shapes, sizes and other insects. The top cabinets are also the least usable. So with the dreams shattered, Shiv and I decided to dump this existing one to a normal slab kitchen with better top-cabinets. The work is going on and hopefully we should be able to shift by this month-end. All this is keeping me on my toes all the time. With some research, running around and contacts, we have picked up the necessary things and have narrowed down on shops from where we will buy the rest of things at the best prices.

Meanwhile, I got a change of team and profile, which I wanted to be in :). Ganesh is walking full-time (like a drunkard though!) and doesn't want to crawl at all. He has realised a new found independence as both his hands are free and wants to "touch" everything at a higher level. Things are slowly moving upwards now! He likes to play in water and sand and resists by anger-crying if we take him off before he is done! He has graduated from a mono-syllable blabbering to multi-syllable one. He would really "talk" with a very serious expression and stresses on some word that he has to hold his breath. All-in-all he is more interactive and more fun. Total time-pass.

During all this chaos, I just realized that I have mellowed down to a level that I am not getting attracted to the hi-fi things that I used to and had dreamt of for my own house! Infact, I am preferring a single-color or very mild color combination in case of multi-colored walls and the cheapest decorative lamp-shades for the CFL lights, that too just because they are there. Otherwise, I would have avoided them. I remember when my father was constructing his house in Kerala a couple of years back, me and my sister had told so-many tings: "Appa, do this". "Appa, do that". When none of these were applied, we requested him, later begged and even emotionally-blackmailed him atleast not to have a show-case, as this is old fashioned. We suggested to leave that area empty and have a white paint as background and concealed LED lights on top which will highlight a BIG painting. That also was literally ignored and a show-case was setup and both of us were cribbing BIG-TIME as to how he can do that to us. When Ganesh was two-three month old baby, he would continously look at the colorful things set-up at the large show-case. My mother while talking to him would sarcastically comment on us pretending to be reading out Ganesh's mind, on how much he likes the show-case that his grandfather has made. She would also say that, this was made specially for this baby. Having said that, I am not responsible for any damages done by Ganesh, if he really wants to explore things in the glass shelves when we go there next!